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If he's pretty, ask for his pants. Even if you don't get them, you still might get his shoes.
sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

(Source: atheismblog, via seldaran)

everybodyilovedies:

misterdomon:

A comic about Tony liking to put his name on everything and Bucky still working on his anger management issues

STAR-K.

I GET IT.

OH MY GOSH THIS IS AMAZING.

THE EXPRESSIONS AND THE IDEA AND THE CUTENESS AND SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HECK THIS IS GENIUS

(via selfmadesuperhero)

seldaran:

gothiccharmschool:

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

hyperscraps:

missmonstermel:

winneganfake:

agender-unicorn:

skepticalwitch:

calypsos-island:

twohourartist:

isitsafe:

fandomsbecrazy:

oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old 

This should be a wake-up call to her parents.

She obviously needs help.

Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,

and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.

You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle

with goat or lamb blood,

and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.

This is great way to to teach your child early on

about geometry and foreign languages.

Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard

dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING 

Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.

She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl 

Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:

There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be. 

If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say. 

Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.

I love everything about this post

only on tumblr

I will always reblog this. 

Can’t we also talk about the reason behind needing those other pieces?

The circle (sometimes drawn in blood) and pentagram are believed to be wards and bindings in order to make sure that anything you summon will not turn around and eat your beating heart as you watch (not like that’s any guarantee, unless you’ve got Jesus’ blood reconstituted in your fridge somewhere) And the “incantation” is actually a lot of tripe, since the thing you are supposed need is the demon’s true name and the command that will force it to obey you.

As for sacrifices and shit, if a demon senses it has even the most remote chance of devouring you, you won’t need some piddly chicken’s life force. Trust me on that one.

If you believe nothing else, then believe that whatever you try to summon is going to be just as happy to ruin the summoner’s life as the target’s. You’re much better off just burning the bully’s house down. Or, if you wanted to start small, burning her desk at school.

seldaran:

k-lionheart:

perksofbeingsuperwholocked:

broccolimilkshake:

haramipakistani:

manda:

circumcisions:

MY MILK POURED OUT INTO LIKE A CORKSCREW PATTERN??? WHAT

WHY IS THIS MILK IN A BAG WAt

WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE MILK IN A BAG THING EVERY TIME GODDAMN IT ITS LITERALLY MILK IN A FUCKING BAG WHAT IS SO HARD TO GRASP ABOUT THE CONCEPT MILKINAFUCKINGBAG

CANADA

Why are you eating oatmeal with milk

This post is an international nightmare

To answer the OP’s confusion, sound can change the pattern of a liquid’s flow, but more likely it was just the angles of the bag that made that happen.
And yes, Canadians keep milk in bags and use it in porridge for extra creaminess.

seldaran:

k-lionheart:

perksofbeingsuperwholocked:

broccolimilkshake:

haramipakistani:

manda:

circumcisions:

MY MILK POURED OUT INTO LIKE A CORKSCREW PATTERN??? WHAT

WHY IS THIS MILK IN A BAG WAt

WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE MILK IN A BAG THING EVERY TIME GODDAMN IT ITS LITERALLY MILK IN A FUCKING BAG WHAT IS SO HARD TO GRASP ABOUT THE CONCEPT
MILK
IN
A
FUCKING
BAG

CANADA

Why are you eating oatmeal with milk

This post is an international nightmare

To answer the OP’s confusion, sound can change the pattern of a liquid’s flow, but more likely it was just the angles of the bag that made that happen.

And yes, Canadians keep milk in bags and use it in porridge for extra creaminess.

(Source: gay8)